Karo erklärt die Welt (und scheitert)

Die Verschulung der deutschen Studiengänge hat auch etwas Positives. Man bekommt solche Hausaufgaben von seiner Freundin zur Korrektur zugeschickt:

If I ever was on the run from the police and decided to steal a car, I'd probably encounter some minor initial difficulties pulling the whole thing off, since I don't have a driver's licence.

The easiest part would be choosing the right car: Of course I'd opt for the nearest one in a parking space which would be at least 1.4 metres longer than the car itself, so I wouldn't have to worry about hitting other vehicles while pulling out. Of course you might argue that I'm about to steal a car and therefore my consideration for the property of others seems rather odd – but bear in mind that I'm German and hence have an inbuilt mechanism of default decency and law-abidance.

After having singled out a suitable vehicle, I'd proceed with gaining access to the car. Having, most probably, not thought of bringing a jemmy, I'd smash the side window, jump into the driver's seat and resist the urge to put on the seat belt as it would only be in the way if I had to leave the car prematurely during my excursion. Obviously, there wouldn't be much time for adjusting the rear-view mirror and wing-mirrors, but I'd rather not see what's going on behind me anyway, as I'm never very comfortable with being the centre of attention.

Before hot-wiring the ignition (luckily a standard physics experiment at German schools to get the kids interested in applied science), I would release the handbrake and then attempt to make reasonable use of the remaining devices by trial and error until I'd find the accelerator, trusting that I'd get a feel for the presumably less vital gadgets like the clutch and gear shift en route.
If all should fail, I'd resort to searching the glove compartment in hope of finding an Idiot's Guide to Driving. After all, we Germans like to go by the rule book.

Hahaha, und nicht vergessen, vor dem Weiterverkauf den Wackelelvis zu entstauben. Wie sähe das sonst aus? Oder sollte ich sagen, vor dem überraschenden Besitzwechsel-Service (Surprise Owner Change Service? SOS, for short?).